Cell Phones are a Blessing and a Curse

A few years ago, my wife and I were attending her company holiday party.  As we were talking to another couple, the wife realized she had left her cell phone at home.  She said something like "dammit, I hope nothing bad happens at home."  She was saying that the kids were home with a babysitter and if something went wrong, the babysitter wouldn't be able to get ahold of her.  My wife said "what did we used to do before cell phones?"  We all laughed.

I remembered this scene after reading the article below from the New York Times, titled 'Growing Up Digital, Wired for Distractions.'  I also remembered thinking about the ride home after the party, where I thought about what used to happen before cell phones.  We would leave a note for the babysitter with the name and phone number of the place we were going.  If something happened they would call the number and someone would find us.  Nothing ever happened, but we all felt the pang of mild fear in the woman leaving her cell phone at home and couldn't immediately be in touch with her kids.

We gave our son his first cell phone when he was 14.  We wanted to be able to get in touch with him if an emergency happened, but also to contact him after school and before soccer practice.  Originally, we would call him, and leave a message if he didn't pick up.  Then we started texting him.  It was easier and he could call us if needed.

I remember one month, our son used almost 8,000 texts (sent and received).  And our texting has increased over the years.  Last month I used over 600.  We spend over $2,000 each year for cell phones (4 phones total on the family plan with unlimited texting).

My wife went to visit family recently in another state.  While she was gone, we would talk every night before bed time.  But during the day and into the evening, we would text each other occasionally to ask a question, but more likely to tell what we were doing.  "Dolphins jumping OUT of the water!" was one such text from the beach.  When I took a trip to see my parents, I remember my father saying, after watching me send and receive a few texts during the day "I don't want to be in touch with someone that much."  My sister-in-law and her boyfriend, do not have cell phones.  They don't want them.  They don't need them.  Work requires her to have one at times, but otherwise, they have never used one.   And don't plan on it.  They are the only people I personally know that do not have a cell phone.  See how an Iowa couple, addicted to the max, gave up their cell phones for a week.  Can You Live Without a Cell Phone? (ABC News)

Our son is wired.  While he is at home, and not sleeping, he is doing something with an electronic device.  Sometimes two or more at the same time.  He is either playing video games and maybe listening to music (and occasionally texting) or surfing the internet (and occasionally texting) or watching television (and occasionally texting).  Many of his friends do the same thing.  And he doesn't understand when I say something like "you should read a book once in a while."  When he is talking with my wife or myself, and his phone rings, he will answer it immediately.  He says "it's rude to whoever is calling not to answer the phone."  The times, they are a changing.

The article below gives the probable reason for it: there is no 'instant gratification' and 'it's boring to read'. 

His grades are poor (currently C's and D's) and he says he 'doesn't like school.'  Rarely do we actually see him doing any homework.  He is usually playing video games or watching television til the wee hours and then gets to his homework.  If at all.  And even when he does homework, he will watch television.  We have told him that he can't retain the homework information as well if television is going on, but he doesn't care.  "Homework is boring.  TV helps me get through it."

Is this the first generation that will watch grades steadily drop because of 'distractions?'  No.  But it IS the first generation that has more ways to stay connected with friends than ever before.  When the telephone came to be, you could talk with someone, even all day, but it was one person at a time.  Now you can chat on Facebook, update your status, text, talk on the phone, then play networked video games with your friends, while talking to them on your headset (and occasionally text others).

The following article talks about students, their schoolwork and homework, and the distractions that keep them from it.

Growing Up Digital, Wired for Distraction (New York Times)

Comic:  Distraction (All Things Digital)

Protitutes teaching our children?

A New York elementary school art teacher is writing a memoir about her time as a stripper and sex worker in Mexico when she was 19 years old and for about a year (ending in January 2007) she advertised as a hooker on Craigslist.  She was 'outed' after someone videotaped her reading a portion of her memoir at an open-mic event.

Some parents are up in arms about a former prostitute teaching their children.  And Melissa Petro is currently on administative leave pending an investigation by the school authorities.

Should the background of a teacher be considered for suitability for teaching children?  Of course.  No one would think that a sex-offender should be an elementary school teacher?  But what about a previous sex-worker?  What if the teacher used to smoke marijuana?  Or if they were convicted of drunk driving 10 years ago?

Everyone has some past indescretion that they probably would prefer to forget.  Small or large, few of us have gone thru our younger years (high school or college) without doing something we think better of later.  Or maybe some don't.  Just because Melissa is no longer a sex worker, doesn't mean she would do things different now.  But how does this affect the children she teaches?

Unless Melissa is espousing her beliefs that all young people should become involved in the sex trade in some aspect, what's wrong with her teaching art to students?  Where is the line that connects the two items that precludes one from the other?

If someone is currently an avid mountain-biker and teaches math to elementary students, where is the harm?  If the person tells their students they need to get a mountain-bike and speed down converted ski-slopes, then there could be an issue.  They are in the classroom to teach math.  Telling students to go and do something potentially harmful could be an issue that the school should handle.  They ask the teacher not to bring up the subject.  And if they do, the teacher is disciplined.

So, whether I like or dislike what Melissa has done in the past and however she feels about it now, as long as she isn't bringing this into the classroom, where's the harm?
Bronx art teacher Melissa Petro blabs about exploits as stripper, hooker at open-mic events (NY Daily News)

Four-day or Five-day school week?

Would a four-day school week or a five-day school week be better?

It's a complicated question that gets more complicated when you add 'better for whom?'

Note that when schools reduce their school week by a day, they increase the time in-school for the other days. So, for example, if students spend about 6 hours actually in class each day for the five-day week, they would spend about 7 to 7.5 hours in class in class for the four-day week.

Let's consider the schools first. The reason this question even comes up is the universal problem of money for schools. Schools are reducing or looking at reducing school by one day each week to save money. Infrastructure costs for school buses and electricity would be reduced.

As for students, the benefits would be more time on each subject each day. Instead of 50 minutes on one subject each day, they could spend 80 minutes. Giving them more time to go in-depth with discussions or handling difficult topics. And they would have the fifth day each week to devote to study. The drawbacks for students could be that longer classes could be even more 'boring time'. If the student isn't engaged for 50 minutes, they certainly won't be any more engaged for 80 minutes.

Impact to Parents could be positive and negative. The 'day off' could give parents a day to take kids to the doctor or other appointments without pulling them out of school. But since most parents work, this might actually be a negative since they will need to find day-care on the fifth day for the younger students. On a side note, if schools can stagger the fifth day (no reason it has to be Friday) then day-care facilities could be a beneficiary.

Here is some good information about the challenges and successes in Minnesota:  Four Day School Week

According to one poll, 65% Oppose Four-Day School Week (Rasmussen Reports).

For my money, schools should not adopt 4-day weeks.  There is no data to show that longer school days help students with their education.  And the extra day will not be used for 'extra study time'.  Government needs to find the money to keep schools open five days each week.  I am willing, for example, to give up mail delivery for one day each week if this will give more money for the Federal government to give back more money to the states and local school districts.  There are no easy answers, but we must have the determination to keep education in the top 3 priorities.

Home Schooled or Public Schooled?

Current opinion: none

I have two cousins who home school their children. One cousin has home schooled, I believe, five children and the other is in the process of home schooling two children. They both swear by it. I spoke briefly with them some years ago about home schooling and why they did it. In general, it was to give them a better learning enviornment than they could have in public or even private schools. They said their children could focus on learning while in school and not be distracted by many of the issues that affect public school children such as negative peer pressure, others' disinterest in school, and being taught 'objectionable' material, among others.

Home schooling is not just a free-for-all of teaching your child whatever you want. The state still has minimum requirements such as math skills, english skills, and science. And many of the home schooled children leave home schooling for public High School because they are more mature and can handle peer pressure better. They also usually score better on tests once they enter High School because they are ahead of other students.

Which brings up a point... Most home schooling is done by religious people who don't want certain subjects (such as evolution and sex education) to be taught to their child. And many Christians believe they are required to give their children a 'Christian education'.

When most people, myself included, hear about home schooling we ask "but what about getting interaction with other children? Aren't they missing out?" Home schooled children are usually part of an outside organization (4H club, Girl/Boy Scouts) or they volunteer or go on field trips and are on sports teams. They also get together with other families who home school and build lasting relationships with other children their own age.

Social Skills and Homeschooling: Myths and Facts (FamilyEducation.com)

So what about public schools? Are they really that bad?

The dropout rate for public schools, in the 2007-2008 year, was 4.1% across all states. While that percentage may sound low, that's over 600,000 students. Public School Graduates and Dropouts (U.S. Dept of Education) Dropout rates for home schooling? I couldn't find any statistics on it and I have never heard of children dropping out of home schooling.

Public schools have a lot of students. It is difficult (impossible?) to teach to the level that every student needs. Some students will be bored by the curriculum. Some are way over their heads.

Peer pressure is an issue, no matter where students go. But public schools have such a diverse population there are all kinds of personal influences. Apathy, drugs, violence contribute to a less-than-ideal learning envionment.

Not every family can afford the time and money (or lack of it since one parent will stay home) necessary to teach their children at home. Many are not capable of home-schooling their children in various subjects. But for those who can and want to do it, I can't find any reasons why it shouldn't be done. The children excel in most subjects and are socially involved.

New opinion: If families can afford the time and money to home-school their children, it is a win-win.

Age-appropriate Sex Education

The Helena, Montana school district will be creating a curriculum for teaching sex education from kindergarten thru high school seniors.

I still need to read a lot more about this to form an opinion. I am okay with sex education in the classroom, but am not sure it should be started, even as age-appropriate, in elementary school.

In the following article, the writer says "Look around at today’s society. We are seeing the results of years of unbridled sex education in the schools." The statement makes a connection that is only a piece of the puzzle. Sex education in schools did not cause the woes in today's society.

Save the Children, Say 'No' In Helena (Fox News)

If you are 12, we'll give you a condom if you ask nicely.

If you haven't heard by now, a Massachussetts school district has adopted a policy of giving condoms to students who ask for them.  Not just High Schoolers; but Middle Schoolers and even Elementary students.  And parents are not notified.

Provincetown to make condoms available at all schools (Boston.com)

For the school district, they say that if 'especially young children' ask for a condom, they will be asked about their motive and 'act accordingly'.  The nurse will also give counseling to the student before the condom is given out.  The district did not put an age limit in the policy because 'there is no set age when sexual activity starts'.

I get the policy, but the concern is no age limit.  We currently limit children to a drinking age even though young adults are known to drink.  We do the same for cigarettes.  So I see no reason an age cannot be put into this policy.  If they are insistent on putting this policy in place, then I'd suggest they put the age of 16 on the books.  Alternatively, since not all students entering High School are 16, they could say that anyone in High School (lowest is 15?) could obtain a condom.

The Massachusetts Governor doesn't like the policy.  Mass. governor objects to condom plan.

My son didn't make the team? I'll sue you!

I'll let this one speak for itself.

Awesome Parents Sue Hockey Team That Cut Their Sons (DeadSpin.com)

Mom is okay with daughter dropping out of high school

Everyone wants their child to attend school and succeed. If they can't or won't go to a College is one thing. But would you allow your child to drop out of High School?

Mother in favor of her daughter dropping out of high school (ParentDish.com)

Not everyone is suited for everything, obviously. You may try to work at a business and find it doesn't work out. You try another business in the same industry and it does work out. Maybe it was the people. Maybe the way things are done there.

The same applies with school. The extreme examples are the students who get expelled for not attending classes. Is it the student? The materials? The teacher? Their homelife? Could be these or many other factors. The public school systems gear their instruction to the masses. They really can't afford to try to teach to all levels of students in each grade at all schools. There just isn't enough time or money to go around to do this. So what happens to the 'higher' and 'lower' kids? Some of them may not connect to the materials because they aren't engaged enough or it is too difficult or they just don't care.

While talking about this, we're presupposing that there are no 'learning disabilities'. Dyslexia or hearing problems are another matter to be dealt with.

Coming to the conclusion that your child should drop out of High School isn't, and shouldn't, be an easy decision. The child doesn't come home one day and say "I'm not going to school any longer" and you agree. Some due diligence needs to be done to understand the reasons behind this. And as children age, it becomes more and more difficult to 'make them attend school'. A 17-year-old can take the car or bus and leave. A 14-year-old has fewer options. And taking away allowances and privileges is easier.

While I don't whole-heartedly agree with 'I agree my child can drop out of High School' I can understand there are circumstances that would necessitate this agreement.

If your teen wants to drop out, make sure to have a conversation with them immediately. Keep your cool and talk to them about these issues: Teen Advice About Dropping Out Of School (About.com)
There are even articles to help young-adults understand the 'steps' and implications of dropping out of High School.

Most students who drop out, do not have their parents agreement. High School Dropouts (CNN)

The rate of dropouts has been declining over the years, but is still too large. What are the dropout rates of high school students? (U.S. Dept of Education)

The top 10 reasons students drop out: Why Teens Drop Out of High School (Womens Forum)

Should 16 year-old be allowed to sail oceans alone?

Abby Sunderland was sailing alone in the Indian Ocean with her parents blessing. Should they have allowed this?

Parents criticized for teen's solo voyage (HearldNet.com)

Abby is a 'life-long sailor'. She can handle her boat with the best of them. And while I haven't had a sit-down chat with her, hearing her talk on news shows it is obvious she is more mature than the typical 16 year-old. Go Abby!

UPDATE: Another sailor, younger (14 years old), is heading out to sea. Laura Dekker heads out to sea again (Christian Science Monitor)

The Talk

(image from MarkupCartoons.com)

When my son was 12, we had The Talk.  I explained, in terms he could understand, the differences between women and men.  I told him how babies are made, again at his level of understanding, but explaining what goes where and what happens.  When I briefly explained menopause, his face scrunched up and he said "I'm glad I'm not a girl."

His curiosity has never been enough to make me squirm.  He has asked the occasional question and I have answered him.  Truthfully, but, again, in terms he can understand.

So when I read this article about a father who gave his son a Playboy and a blow-up doll, I had a whole different appreciation of The Talk.  I wish I had thought of this when my son was younger.

Thanks Dad, for the Blow-Up Doll (ParentDish.com)

What kind of Talk have you had with your child?