Cell Phones are a Blessing and a Curse

A few years ago, my wife and I were attending her company holiday party.  As we were talking to another couple, the wife realized she had left her cell phone at home.  She said something like "dammit, I hope nothing bad happens at home."  She was saying that the kids were home with a babysitter and if something went wrong, the babysitter wouldn't be able to get ahold of her.  My wife said "what did we used to do before cell phones?"  We all laughed.

I remembered this scene after reading the article below from the New York Times, titled 'Growing Up Digital, Wired for Distractions.'  I also remembered thinking about the ride home after the party, where I thought about what used to happen before cell phones.  We would leave a note for the babysitter with the name and phone number of the place we were going.  If something happened they would call the number and someone would find us.  Nothing ever happened, but we all felt the pang of mild fear in the woman leaving her cell phone at home and couldn't immediately be in touch with her kids.

We gave our son his first cell phone when he was 14.  We wanted to be able to get in touch with him if an emergency happened, but also to contact him after school and before soccer practice.  Originally, we would call him, and leave a message if he didn't pick up.  Then we started texting him.  It was easier and he could call us if needed.

I remember one month, our son used almost 8,000 texts (sent and received).  And our texting has increased over the years.  Last month I used over 600.  We spend over $2,000 each year for cell phones (4 phones total on the family plan with unlimited texting).

My wife went to visit family recently in another state.  While she was gone, we would talk every night before bed time.  But during the day and into the evening, we would text each other occasionally to ask a question, but more likely to tell what we were doing.  "Dolphins jumping OUT of the water!" was one such text from the beach.  When I took a trip to see my parents, I remember my father saying, after watching me send and receive a few texts during the day "I don't want to be in touch with someone that much."  My sister-in-law and her boyfriend, do not have cell phones.  They don't want them.  They don't need them.  Work requires her to have one at times, but otherwise, they have never used one.   And don't plan on it.  They are the only people I personally know that do not have a cell phone.  See how an Iowa couple, addicted to the max, gave up their cell phones for a week.  Can You Live Without a Cell Phone? (ABC News)

Our son is wired.  While he is at home, and not sleeping, he is doing something with an electronic device.  Sometimes two or more at the same time.  He is either playing video games and maybe listening to music (and occasionally texting) or surfing the internet (and occasionally texting) or watching television (and occasionally texting).  Many of his friends do the same thing.  And he doesn't understand when I say something like "you should read a book once in a while."  When he is talking with my wife or myself, and his phone rings, he will answer it immediately.  He says "it's rude to whoever is calling not to answer the phone."  The times, they are a changing.

The article below gives the probable reason for it: there is no 'instant gratification' and 'it's boring to read'. 

His grades are poor (currently C's and D's) and he says he 'doesn't like school.'  Rarely do we actually see him doing any homework.  He is usually playing video games or watching television til the wee hours and then gets to his homework.  If at all.  And even when he does homework, he will watch television.  We have told him that he can't retain the homework information as well if television is going on, but he doesn't care.  "Homework is boring.  TV helps me get through it."

Is this the first generation that will watch grades steadily drop because of 'distractions?'  No.  But it IS the first generation that has more ways to stay connected with friends than ever before.  When the telephone came to be, you could talk with someone, even all day, but it was one person at a time.  Now you can chat on Facebook, update your status, text, talk on the phone, then play networked video games with your friends, while talking to them on your headset (and occasionally text others).

The following article talks about students, their schoolwork and homework, and the distractions that keep them from it.

Growing Up Digital, Wired for Distraction (New York Times)

Comic:  Distraction (All Things Digital)

Age-appropriate Sex Education

The Helena, Montana school district will be creating a curriculum for teaching sex education from kindergarten thru high school seniors.

I still need to read a lot more about this to form an opinion. I am okay with sex education in the classroom, but am not sure it should be started, even as age-appropriate, in elementary school.

In the following article, the writer says "Look around at today’s society. We are seeing the results of years of unbridled sex education in the schools." The statement makes a connection that is only a piece of the puzzle. Sex education in schools did not cause the woes in today's society.

Save the Children, Say 'No' In Helena (Fox News)

Dude, you're overweight

If your friend was overweight, so overweight his health was affected, would you tell him? Would you let him know how unhealthy his eating is? Or that he doesn't get enough (any?) exercise? If you did decide to tell him, would he still be your friend?

Obesity is a problem in the U.S. The number of obese children has tripled in the last 25 years (Science Daily).

The Washington Post has a story about a Kentucky town that has double the number of obese people as the national average. They have plenty of fast-food restaurants, but no desire to eat healthier. Is it a problem with Lifestyle? Genetics? Peer pressure? All of the above?

Here is a summary of the article at The Atlantic with a link to the full story. Our Culture of Obesity, Embodied in a Kentucky Town (The Atlantic/Washington Post)

Pink is the new Black

Back when my son was early teens, went went to the park for a family outing. We took an ice chest, soccer ball, a couple of books, and... an old pink blanket to sit on.

My son was mortified.

There was no way he was going to sit on a pink blanket. My wife and I told him it was just a blanket and would keep us from getting grass stains. He wasn't having any of it.

Now that he is over 18, he's better about it, but he would still prefer I bring a blanket of another color.

So a new item brought a smile to my face this morning about a 21-year-old boxer who wears pink.

Boxer takes fight against breast cancer into ring (USA Today)

Breast Cancer Treatment Information (BreastCancer.org)

Senior drivers: should they continue to drive?

Current opinion: Drivers over age 65 should pass a driving test every two years

My grandmother drove until her death at the age of 84. And it wasn't until after her funeral that I learned she had been driving for years 'with one eye closed so she could see the road better'. Evidently, having both eyes open caused some kind of blurriness and closing one eye gave her better vision.  I never knew about this because I lived 400 miles away and whenever I would visit her, I would do the driving.

I remember her telling her son-in-law a few years earlier 'please don't take my car away from me'. She learned to drive later in life, but had been driving for decades. And she drove a friend to breakfast the day she died.

If I had known she was a hazard on the road, I would have talked long and hard with her about giving up her keys. I would have talked about all of the alternatives that were available to her including public transportation, elderly transportation provided by the city, getting rides from friends, and anything else that would be a viable option.

I was mortified to find out that she couldn't see well while driving and could have injured or killed pedestrians or other drivers.

Motor vehicle deaths per 100,000 people (2002):
[Auto Crash Statistics from Grain Dealers Mutual Insurance]

     Age Deaths

• 16-19  29
• 20-24  19
• 25-29  12
• 30-34   9
• 35-39   9
• 40-44   9
• 45-49   8
• 50-54   8
• 55-59   7
• 60-64   9
• 65-69   9
• 70-74  11
• 75-79  14
• 80-84  17
• 85+    24

Seniors have similar rates of fatalities as Teen drivers.  But Seniors drive less frequently than Teens.  And people are living longer and healthier lives than ever before. 

There are many reasons why Seniors want to continue to drive.  All of them for the same reasons everyone else wants to drive: for pleasure, for emergencies, for day-to-day activities.  There is nothing special about Seniors driving that is any different than their children other than most Seniors are retired and are not driving to work every day.

We have different driving requirements for Teen drivers because we know they are a risky demographic.  In some states they are unable to drive with anyone in the car that is under 25 without an adult also along for the drive.  Many states don't allow Teen drivers to drive between 11pm and 5am.  Senior drivers, as a group, also are a risky demographic.  When Is Too Old To Drive? (RoadAndTravel.com)

States are making some changes, like making road signs larger or easier to read, and implementing more frequent 'driving tests' for Senior drivers.  While all Seniors are not risky drivers, not all Teens are risky drivers.  But we require Teens to adhere to the same restrictions.  So, while having Seniors take a driving test every two years is inconenient, it will make the roads safer.  And society needs to help by providing more public transportation and Senior transportation.  The Baby Boomers are coming and will almost double the number of people over 65.

New opinion: (changed) Drivers over age 70 should pass a driving test every two years

More information:

Elderly die at a record pace behind the wheel (GlobalAging.org)

Driving Skills in Older Adults (FamilyDoctor.org)

Florida Drivers Drive Til They Drop (Suddenly Senior)

My son didn't make the team? I'll sue you!

I'll let this one speak for itself.

Awesome Parents Sue Hockey Team That Cut Their Sons (DeadSpin.com)

Mom is okay with daughter dropping out of high school

Everyone wants their child to attend school and succeed. If they can't or won't go to a College is one thing. But would you allow your child to drop out of High School?

Mother in favor of her daughter dropping out of high school (ParentDish.com)

Not everyone is suited for everything, obviously. You may try to work at a business and find it doesn't work out. You try another business in the same industry and it does work out. Maybe it was the people. Maybe the way things are done there.

The same applies with school. The extreme examples are the students who get expelled for not attending classes. Is it the student? The materials? The teacher? Their homelife? Could be these or many other factors. The public school systems gear their instruction to the masses. They really can't afford to try to teach to all levels of students in each grade at all schools. There just isn't enough time or money to go around to do this. So what happens to the 'higher' and 'lower' kids? Some of them may not connect to the materials because they aren't engaged enough or it is too difficult or they just don't care.

While talking about this, we're presupposing that there are no 'learning disabilities'. Dyslexia or hearing problems are another matter to be dealt with.

Coming to the conclusion that your child should drop out of High School isn't, and shouldn't, be an easy decision. The child doesn't come home one day and say "I'm not going to school any longer" and you agree. Some due diligence needs to be done to understand the reasons behind this. And as children age, it becomes more and more difficult to 'make them attend school'. A 17-year-old can take the car or bus and leave. A 14-year-old has fewer options. And taking away allowances and privileges is easier.

While I don't whole-heartedly agree with 'I agree my child can drop out of High School' I can understand there are circumstances that would necessitate this agreement.

If your teen wants to drop out, make sure to have a conversation with them immediately. Keep your cool and talk to them about these issues: Teen Advice About Dropping Out Of School (About.com)
There are even articles to help young-adults understand the 'steps' and implications of dropping out of High School.

Most students who drop out, do not have their parents agreement. High School Dropouts (CNN)

The rate of dropouts has been declining over the years, but is still too large. What are the dropout rates of high school students? (U.S. Dept of Education)

The top 10 reasons students drop out: Why Teens Drop Out of High School (Womens Forum)

Should 16 year-old be allowed to sail oceans alone?

Abby Sunderland was sailing alone in the Indian Ocean with her parents blessing. Should they have allowed this?

Parents criticized for teen's solo voyage (HearldNet.com)

Abby is a 'life-long sailor'. She can handle her boat with the best of them. And while I haven't had a sit-down chat with her, hearing her talk on news shows it is obvious she is more mature than the typical 16 year-old. Go Abby!

UPDATE: Another sailor, younger (14 years old), is heading out to sea. Laura Dekker heads out to sea again (Christian Science Monitor)